Tuesday, 31 May 2011

I feel... lonely.

Emotional breakdown time? Maybe. I don't know. At the moment, where I am, how I feel, what I want to do, I just want to vomit it out on this blog. Seriously. And in advance, I apologize in advance, because you might find this post pointless and stupid, and full of grammatical mistakes. But I need a source to let out on.

Ever since I moved here, its not the same. And unfortunately, it never will be. I am not happy. No. I don't think I will be. Its like, Ive been caged. I have no social life. No real friends. YES, ofcourse I have friends. But they aren't real. No. I want my old friends back. Now. But. I cant have them. FML. I mean it.
The summer has started, and all I've been doing is playing football with people who'd only play football with me. And thats about it. I went out with a couple of acquaintances ONCE. Just once. And... I feel so depressed about the fact that, I have no one to look up to, no one to talk to at night when Im bored. And dont think the people I know are bad, no no. Misconceptions arent good. They're nice people, but I cant relate to them. The stuff they talk about, etc etc etc. I dont get them. Theres a few, who I would possibly become good friends with. But then nothing more. No real friends. No true friends.
I miss the place where I belong. I don't like being here.
And you might think I'm overreacting. Trust me, I feel like I am too. But I cant control myself. I feel so messed up tonight. And, I feel its because of my school. Since I came here in the middle of a year and had to wait for a new session, I had to join a small school. Unfortunately, the people there weren't for me. I don't know what to do.
I feel this way because back where I lived, there wasn't a moment when I felt bored, or alone, and then I had no one to talk to. Here, its just like that. I feel bored, or alone, and I try to talk to someone, not just one person, but I get no feedback. Honestly, I'd really love to say I've had enough, but that'll do me no good. Because I have to live the rest of my life here...

I have to...