Ok, im going to say it flat out. Im shit scared for my O' levels. There said it. For some people, their exams could be in the form of A levels, SATS, TOEFL, IB or IGCSE's, but for me its the frikkin O' levels. Now dont be fooled by the abbreviation. The "O" stands for Ordinary. But these exams are EVERYTHING but ordinary. They create tension, stress and mental trauma for many. Sometimes, including me.
The only thing I worry about a lot is the fact that, the fee was so much, and if, GOD FORBID, but if I get poor grades, (Which for me is anything less than an A) i'll feel so guilty... I'll feel like I wasted the money. And especially after the problems my family had, (financial), im much more conscious of how I spend money. Yes, ofcourse education is worth it but these exams are really expensive, and the fact that my future depends on it makes it worse. I have to grow up to be someone who can take care of my family and my parents. I feel scared that what if? And people tell me to have faith and confidence in myself. Believe me, I do. But you cant possibly ignore the "What if's" of life.
And I KNOW I should be studying right now rather than blogging but its SO difficult sitting down and studing for an extended period of time. After some point, my brain stops functioning. Maybe I have ADD. I dont know. But whatever. I just hope everything goes well...
The only thing I worry about a lot is the fact that, the fee was so much, and if, GOD FORBID, but if I get poor grades, (Which for me is anything less than an A) i'll feel so guilty... I'll feel like I wasted the money. And especially after the problems my family had, (financial), im much more conscious of how I spend money. Yes, ofcourse education is worth it but these exams are really expensive, and the fact that my future depends on it makes it worse. I have to grow up to be someone who can take care of my family and my parents. I feel scared that what if? And people tell me to have faith and confidence in myself. Believe me, I do. But you cant possibly ignore the "What if's" of life.
And I KNOW I should be studying right now rather than blogging but its SO difficult sitting down and studing for an extended period of time. After some point, my brain stops functioning. Maybe I have ADD. I dont know. But whatever. I just hope everything goes well...
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